It has been about two years...
It has been about two years since I have written. Life took over. This is the excuse when any project is ended, or put on hold. I got busy. I had a year and a half left of school, I was traveling abroad and doing mission trips. I was starting other projects that I never completed due to my heart full of ideas and my obligations to weigh what was more important.
Since I last posted, I lived in Greece, traveled to all sorts of places in Europe, went to Kenya, finished University, applied for jobs, stressed about where life was taking me, four Orthodox Camps (both Antiochian and Greek), ate and cooked lots and lots and lots of food.
I applied to two jobs, one was a 5th grade teaching position at a non-denominational private upper-class school in the beautiful neighborhood of Beacon Hill in Boston, and the other a youth director position in Montreal at St. George Church. I went through a mental crisis as to what job I was to take. This was the same crisis I find that most North American graduates go through.There were a vast number of factors to take into account to decipher which on to chose. Like Neo, I was at a crossroad: take the Blue Pill or the Red Pill.
Needless to say, I lived in a whirlwind for months. I lived in uncertainty with my job prospects as well with other aspects of my life for 3 months of the summer. I thank God that I was in the midst of friends and campers who loved me and I could love as well and who, not by their words, but by examples helped me to put pads and a helmet on while caught in the blowing winds of transition.
I finally, with great uncertainty and doubts as to how I would survive took the job, I threw myself out of the whirlwind in which I had been living in. With hopes and trust in the Almighty I put one foot in front of the other and ran to jump over the hurdles in my heart and in my mind.
The Great White North, America's Toupee as some would call it was to be my next stop in life.
I have now been here for four months and some change. It has been a four months of a different whirlwind. The demands of a job are far different than they are for school. This is the warning I give out to all scholars who ask what "real life" is like. In school, there are often times that one can miss an assignment or two and feel OK about it, knowing that they can make it up on the next exam of assignment. Real life isn't like that. Deadlines, expectations, unknown obligations, unspoken rules and nagging co-workers or bosses may be a norm.
Before Christmastime, all of the "new" was so overwhelming and trying and testing. Although I had spent almost a year at McGill University in Montreal, the work life is a completely different beast with all of the aforementioned concerns tied to it. Anyone who has moved to another country, rented their own place, had to buy all the furnishings, do all the day to day things while still working a 7-day a week job (on-call/ sometimes late hours) can attest to how difficult it is to keep all the personal and work things mentally organized. All of these were also split between 3 languages (English, French, and Arabic). Many of the landlords I called only spoke French, so needless to say I wasn't able to move into those places because I hadn't a clue as to what they were saying. While I can read and understand French for the most part, translating every written thing in day to day life gets exhausting.
Life tossed me in wind, shook me with earthquakes and tested me with fire.
At my job I have to often use a translator or mix the little French and Arabic I know with English to be able to communicate with a portion of the congregants, many of who have just arrived from politically unstable and war-torn countries, mainly, Syria, Lebanon, Egypt, and Palestine.
In the process of working with these people and their children, the stories one hears can often cause heart ache and some have even brought me to tears. I have even worked on the political refugee papers and visas for a man who was taken hostage in Syria and tortured with pictures to prove the animal cruelty which he faced, and which is a small example of what the families I work with have fled.
Along with this emotional aspect of the job, I hear and see other problems which people come to me to communicate. They include personal and familial issues, mental instability and physical ailment. But people also come and deliver beautiful news to me. Birth and baptism, graduation and employment. These moments have helped to carry me through this transition. But the one thing that helps to carry me through, more than any other thing is the smiles on the Children's faces as they laugh and play together and their eagerness to learn.
Over my Christmas break, I was with my family. They are the most beautiful people I know and have supported me throughout all my endeavors in life. No matter how trivial or astronomical they seemed, they pushed me to correct and realize my failings and to pick myself back up.
One thing I remember as a kid was coming home after being bullied. My beautiful mother sat me down and told me to be like a duck.
With tears streaming down my face, I questioned her as to what she meant.
She replied: "You can be someone who gets soaked and sinks in the negativity of life, or you can be like a duck, who lets it roll off you and then swims above the negativity in order to reach your true potential, who you are meant to be."
This scene and these words have been one of the clearest memories I have carried throughout my life.
As I was home for the Holidays, I sat in silence and remembered these words and thought.
I thought, and thought and thought and thought.
Elijah popped into my head:
"And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord. And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake: And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice " [1 Kings 19:11].
While life throws winds, earthquakes and fires at us, we must become still. Still enough to see our past faults and to ask for forgiveness even when it is hard to do. Still enough to see push where it hurts in order to get to the root of our fears and troubles. We must also be still enough to realize that the whirlwinds of life are where beauty lies and where God is taking us, for in a whirlwind is how Elijah was taken to Heaven [2 Kings 2:11]...
Until next time, See life beautiful.
